Questions about careers and housework to ask before marriage
Who cooks, who cleans, who earns, who gives up what for whom: most couples never decide this. It just happens, and one of them ends up unhappy with how it happened.
Why it matters
A division of work that feels unfair is a steady source of resentment. Fair does not have to mean equal, but both of you have to call it fair.
Six questions to ask each other
- Whose career comes first if we cannot have both in one place?
- Would you move to another city for my job?
- How do we want to share the housework, and does that feel fair to you today?
- How important is your work to you compared with our time together?
- Could you imagine one of us earning the money and the other running the home?
- What would you give up for my goals, and what not?
Find out where you two stand.
Talking is the first step. In the test you each answer sixty questions on your own and see side by side where you match and where you differ.